


Flood

by nottinghamroad



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Short takes, erik's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 19:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2162052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nottinghamroad/pseuds/nottinghamroad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik ruminates on Charles and his effect on his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flood

Loving Charles Xavier was constantly being in the grip of a flash flood and struggling to keep one’s head above water. Sometimes Erik would catch himself looking at Charles in the middle of one of his diatribes on science and genetics and wonder how he ever managed to become entangled with this man. He was sharp wit and deep thought and vast empathy all at once and it was often too much for Erik to handle. There was no reason why a man as brilliant as Charles Xavier should bother with someone as damaged, angry, and unstable as Erik Lensherr. 

But he did. For some unfathomable reason, he did. And Erik adored him for it. Erik loved him for more than that, and Erik loved him more than he ever believed himself to be capable of loving anyone. And he didn’t even want to think about how long it had been since he had loved someone as intensely as he loved Charles, because he feared that he would look back too far and find that there had been no one else. He already feared the fire in his chest (and in other places) when he traced the line of Charles’ jaw and kissed the stubble on his chin. 

He already feared the fire in his heart that bound him to Charles and made him fiercely protective of the man’s safety, though Charles was more than capable of managing on his own. He feared the vulnerability that such a deep love left him with. He knew how much of his heart would be torn out were he and Charles ever to part. These waves of self-knowledge and awareness washed over him every day that he spent with Charles, and it terrified him. 

Maintaining only a vague awareness of his being and a sharp awareness of his powers had protected Erik his entire life. Had helped block out further pain beyond the agony he had already experienced in his teenage years. Charles brought knowledge of himself into sharp relief, and with that knowledge came an acute recognition of the depth and breadth of his own weakness. He stared into that knowledge like a chasm and found that he knew one thing for certain. 

He had to leave.


End file.
